beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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