wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
