My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
