also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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