Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
