remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
