Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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