Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
