I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Still dying that you shit outside
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
