This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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