David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
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He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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