Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
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Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
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It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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