Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize