I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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