Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
you will always have a special place in my vag
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize