if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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