Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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