sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
