it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
