Sry I called you an 8
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Of course I have a pirate flag
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS