need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.