Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
