I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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