She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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