...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
