that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
