he was CRYING into my vagina
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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