perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
