People in love make me want to vomit
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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