You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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