i barfeds in our rink
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
