We're facebook friends in real life
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
