some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
