My first STD was from a foam party
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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