I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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