I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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