Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
