I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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