She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
