I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
