Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
