The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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