I faked an abortion last night.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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