ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
