yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
