This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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