So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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