my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
