Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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