I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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