i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
