Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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