Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
