i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
