I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
What drink are we having for lunch?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
