You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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