Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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