I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
