Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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