Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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